i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
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