Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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