So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
