I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
