He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
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