I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
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