you traded sex for a burrito?
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
