Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
You're my little dorito
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Randomize
