Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
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