we have pet lesbian snakes
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Randomize
