I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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