You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
You work out of a Hotel?
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Randomize
