Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
