my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
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