i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
