Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
These tits shall not be calmed
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize
