if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
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