Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
