If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Randomize
