I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
