How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
