Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
