some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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