I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
