I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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