so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
