Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
