Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
No stitches, just platelets and will power
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize
