My friends, they love my intelligence
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Randomize
