at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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