I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Randomize