Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
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