Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
