Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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