Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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