i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
