Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize