why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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