You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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