So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Randomize
