She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize
