There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
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