I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
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