I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
