I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
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