I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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