put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
is this the sara with the beer cane?
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Randomize
