i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
