We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
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