I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
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