my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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