dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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