dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Randomize
