So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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