apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Randomize
