worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
