Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
whose parrot is this?
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
