and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
