We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
