he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
